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How to build emotional intelligence

by The Pipon 9 September 2016in PipLife

Two weeks ago we discussed what emotional intelligence is and how it can affect the decisions you make ( http://bit.ly/2czbXID ). It has long been recognised that some people are low in emotional intelligence and some are high and that this can have an effect on academic success, work performance and relationships. The good news is that emotional intelligence is an ability that can, to a certain extent, be trained.

Emotional intelligence training programmes are still in the relatively early days with many interventions still being tested in research studies. Nevertheless, these types of interventions have thus far been successful in improving emotional intelligence in adults, in university students who are planning the next stages of their careers and in teenage boys who were less aggressive, hostile and angry following the training [1-3]. But what is emotional intelligence training? Most programmes focus on four key aspects:

1) Understanding emotions – sometimes in life we have a tendency to downplay our emotions in favour of carrying on with the business of life. But as we discussed last week your emotions can have unintended consequences on the decisions we make as well as what we attend to, learn and create. For example, people who are feeling blue are more likely to have their attention drawn towards sad things than to pleasant things [4].

2) Identifying emotions – can you easily recognise your own and others’ emotions? Sometimes it is easier said than done and one emotion can mask another. For example, if a child does something dangerous and you react with anger this may not be true anger but rather the fear you had that they could have hurt themselves.

3) Expressing emotions – this is thinking about how you express emotions and how you can harness them to your advantage. Trying to think of a happy memory when feeling blue actually changes activity in the brain and can help to alleviate a bad mood [5].

4) Managing emotions – in order to healthily manage emotions you need to be aware of them and of the coping strategies you use. Do you avoid and shutdown negative emotions when they appear? Or do you dwell on them? How does your mood from earlier affect your interactions now? Are you feeling blue and is this affecting how you are viewing the current situation? Learning to recognise your appraisal of a situation and how your emotions may affect it, including considering that your appraisal might be wrong, is an important aspect of emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence programmes may still be in the early days but starting to ask yourself some questions about your emotions and how they affect you – for good or for bad – may be a good start to becoming more aware and more in control.

1. Castillo, R., Salguero, J.M., Fernandex-Berrocal, P, Balluerka, N. (2013). Effects of an emotional intelligence intervention on aggression and empathy among adolescents. Journal of Adolescence(36), 883-892.
2. Nelis, D., Quoidbach, J, Mikolajczak, M, Hansenne, M. (2009). Increasing emotional intelligence: (How) is it possible? Personality and Individual Differences(47), 36-41.
3. Pool, L. D., Qualter, P. (2012). Improving emotional intelligence and emotional self-efficacy through a teaching intervention for university students. Learning and Individual Differences(22), 306-312.
4. Becker, M.W. and M. Leinenger, Attentional selection is biased toward mood-congruent stimuli. Emotion, 2011. 11(5): p. 1248.
5. Cooney, R.E., et al., Remembering the good times: neural correlates of affect regulation. Neuroreport, 2007. 18(17): p. 1771-1774.

How to Reduce Back to School Stress

by The Pipon 2 September 2016in PipLife

The long days of summer are drawing to a close. The new school semester can bring with it excitement but also some stress for the whole family. Here we give you some tips to help.

Organisation is key: Our minds do not like having unfinished tasks. Much like an app running in the background of a smartphone will drain the battery, having a huge list of unfinished tasks will drain your mental ability to complete tasks [1]. One way to help you focus is to write down what you are going to do and when. Have to buy uniforms? Write that down in the diary for Wednesday. Stocking up on food for school lunches? That’s a task for Sunday. The simple act of planning exactly when you will do something turns off that background fretting leaving your mind clear and focussed [2].

Give them some control: Feeling in control of your life is a big predictor of health and happiness [3]. Children and teens don’t have much control over the big things but you can give them control over the small things. Let them choose what pencil case they want for the year or what healthy lunch they want on the first day back. This will make them excited about using their new things, and therefore about going to school, as well as giving them a stress-busting sense of control over a big change in their lives.

Adjust to regular bedtimes: Sleep is important for everyone but it is particularly crucial for children and teens. Sleep disruption is more damaging for children and teens than for adults. Children under 12 need as much as 10-12 hours of sleep per night and teenagers need 8-9 hours to be able to concentrate at school and to help their brains develop [4] (See our earlier blog on tips to help sleep). Start earlier bedtimes a few days before they go back to school to help children adjust to a new schedule after a summer of freedom. This will avoid sleepy tears (both yours and theirs!) on the first day back and help them to enjoy their first day of a new school term.

Children are very attune to emotions and can pick up on your stresses and anxieties without you realising so don’t forget to look after yourself as well. Take some time out to relax and enjoy the last days of summer as you prepare for the new school term.

1. Masicampo, E. and R.F. Baumeister, Unfulfilled goals interfere with tasks that require executive functions. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 2011. 47(2): p. 300-311.

2. Masicampo, E. and R.F. Baumeister, Consider it done! Plan making can eliminate the cognitive effects of unfulfilled goals. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2011. 101(4): p. 667.

3. Lachman, M.E., S.D. Neupert, and S. Agrigoroaei, The relevance of control beliefs for health and aging. Handbook of the psychology of aging, 2010: p. 175-190.

4. Dewald, J.F., et al., The influence of sleep quality, sleep duration and sleepiness on school performance in children and adolescents: a meta-analytic review. Sleep medicine reviews, 2010. 14(3): p. 179-189

Fake it ‘til you make it – How to build social confidence

by The Pipon 19 August 2016in PipCorporate, PipLife

The workplace is filled with situations in which negotiating complex social interactions is just as important as work itself. Be it dealing with a difficult colleague or attending a social event social interaction at work can be stressful. Social confidence is something that many people struggle with so we’ve prepared 4 tips to help you boost it:

Fake it ‘til you make it. Faking it works. If you don’t feel confident you can trick yourself into believing you are by adopting a power pose (see our blog on posture). Stand up tall with your shoulders back and stretch your arms behind your head. This power pose releases testosterone and reduces stress hormones making you feel confident and relaxed [1].
Question your assumptions. Does you find yourself analysing what someone thinks of you as you talk to them? People who are social anxious are more likely to attend to and remember the negative aspects of an interaction [2]. “Did he just yawn because I’m boring?” If you find yourself thinking this type of thing after an interaction don’t let it slip by. Instead, ask yourself if that was the only reason. Could your colleague have yawned because he was tired? Don’t let your anxious self believe the assumptions it makes. Find the evidence for it and, if it’s not watertight, challenge it.
Make the first move. Social confidence is a skill to be practiced like any other. If you are interested in getting to know someone better ask them for a coffee. We’re not talking about romantic interests, although it could apply, but maybe a colleague you want to get to know better. Being the person to suggest something social can be scary but it will give your confidence a boost if you do. They may not be able to go but if that’s the case don’t feel rejected (see point 2!). They will most likely feel flattered that you asked.
Be interested in others. There’s nothing worse than a social interaction in which both parties want to engage but one leaves the other to ask all of the questions. Interacting this way comes across as rude as disengaged. When you talk to people ask them open questions about themselves or their opinions to show that you are interested in them. If you seem interested and open with other people they will more likely remember your interaction with pleasure and seek you out again in future.

It is up to you to judge what is appropriate in a social interaction but if you find your lack of social confidence is holding you back start with our tips and, remember, no-one is as confident as they seem on the outside.

1. Carney, D.R., A.J. Cuddy, and A.J. Yap, Power posing brief nonverbal displays affect neuroendocrine levels and risk tolerance. Psychological Science, 2010. 21(10): p. 1363-1368.
2. Amin, N., E.B. Foa, and M.E. Coles, Negative interpretation bias in social phobia. Behaviour research and therapy, 1998. 36(10): p. 945-957.

Online versus Face-to-Face Catch-Ups: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

by The Pipon 12 August 2016in PipLife

The ease of online communication nowadays means that more of our social interactions are moving online. But are we missing out on important face-to-face interactions? We summarise the research comparing online to face-to-face communication.

Easiness vs. Happiness.

Online communication is quick and easy. It’s particularly important for people who live away from family and friends. However, research suggests that people tend to be happier after face-to-face compared to online interactions [1]. Researchers in China found that face-to-face time with friends and family was associated with better quality of life but this was not true for time spent interacting with others online [2]. While social media helps us to stay in touch it needs to be supplemented with face-to-face time to really improve mood.

Efficiency vs Impressions.

When it comes to problem-solving in work online communication through email or message boards is particularly useful. Indeed, research on college students found that problem-solving online was more efficient than face-to-face [3]. Yet online communication, particularly in a work context, can sound cold and lead to misunderstandings. Researchers comparing interactions between the same people online and face-to-face found that people meeting face-to-face formed more positive impressions of their conversational partner [4]. If you need a quick solution online discussion may suit but if it’s a tricky interaction or a sensitive business partnership a coffee may be better.

Satisfaction vs Closeness.

Online interaction, for example through Facebook, helps to nurture relationships leaving people feeling more socially connected [5]. That said, face-to-face communication leads to an additional feeling of closeness that online interaction does not have [1]. If you’re already close with somebody online communication may not affect the quality of your interaction but a new relationship probably needs to be nurtured with face-to-face time.

Online communication is often denigrated as a poor replacement of face-to-face time. For most people, however, online communication is on top of, not instead of, face-to-face time. In fact, research finds that social network quality is more important and social network quantity. Nurturing those relationships that make you feel happy, supported and satisfied is important whether it’s online, offline or, even better, a combination of both.

1. Mallen, M.J., S.X. Day, and M.A. Green, Online versus face-to-face conversation: An examination of relational and discourse variables. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training, 2003. 40(1-2): p. 155.

2. Lee, P.S., et al., Internet communication versus face-to-face interaction in quality of life. Social Indicators Research, 2011. 100(3): p. 375-389.

3. Qiu, M. and D. McDougall, Foster strengths and circumvent weaknesses: Advantages and disadvantages of online versus face-to-face subgroup discourse. Computers & Education, 2013. 67: p. 1-11.

4. Okdie, B.M., et al., Getting to know you: Face-to-face versus online interactions. Computers in Human Behavior, 2011. 27(1): p. 153-159.

5. Grieve, R., et al., Face-to-face or Facebook: Can social connectedness be derived online? Computers in Human Behavior, 2013. 29(3): p. 604-609.

Top 5 ways to keep a good work-life balance

by The Pipon 5 August 2016in PipLife

You know that work-life balance is important but knowing and doing are two different things. So how do you start? We have 5 top tips to help your work-life balance.

1) Timetabling: If you find that work leaks into your leisure time more often than not it’s time to make a timetable. Whether it’s allocating a fixed number of hours to work if you’re self-employed or vowing not to check your email after a certain time a timetable will help you to recognise when it’s worktime and when it’s leisure-time.

2) Be flexible: It sounds contradictory to timetabling but flexibility is important in life. There are times when you need to prioritise work but these should be balanced by other periods when you prioritise yourself, be it a long weekend, a vacation or evenings with family and friends. If you get a work email at 11pm on a Sunday night do you really need to answer? The answer might be yes, sometimes, but it’s unlikely that the answer is yes, always.

3) Switch on/switch off: Get in the zone when you’re in work. Social media is a big distraction so if it’s not a necessary part of your workday you probably don’t need to check it. Research shows that a wandering mind is an unhappy mind so getting fully absorbed will leave you happier and more satisfied with work [1]. When you leave, switch off. People who switch off from work while away come back relaxed and engaged while those who dwell negatively on work while away come back disengaged and unhappy [2].

4) Spend time alone: Many of us run from work to social commitments, surrounding ourselves with people always. The contrast of being alone with free time can feel unsettling. Learn to spend relaxation time on your own. Take a long walk, go to a yoga class, eat lunch in a nice café, read a book or spend time with your Pip. Social engagement is important but time alone can be just as recuperative.

5) Have a hobby: A daunting thing to realise as an adult is that you don’t know what to do with leisure time when you don’t have commitments. One way to help work-life balance is to have a hobby. Whether you like art, exercise, music, volunteering or any other fun activity, set aside time when you are going to do it and, importantly, tell people about it. If you have a set time in which you plan to do something, and if people know that you are going to do it, you will be more likely to down tools and go out to do it.

Work is an important aspect of life and fulfils many of us but stress and burnout can make it a drain if it is not balanced with a little fun as well.

1. Killingsworth, M.A. and D.T. Gilbert, A wandering mind is an unhappy mind. Science, 2010. 330(6006): p. 932-932.

2. Fritz, C. and S. Sonnentag, Recovery, well-being, and performance-related outcomes: the role of workload and vacation experiences. Journal of Applied Psychology, 2006. 91(4): p. 936.

Five Ways Your Friends Can Help You to Reduce Stress

by The Pipon 29 July 2016in PipLife

Social contact is one of the most important ways of relieving stress. Yet as we get older and have more responsibilities it can be too easy to forgo contact with friends in favour of all of the other tasks that we have to complete. Here we give you five reasons why you should pick up the phone and arrange a catch up with a friend:

Friends reduce your body’s stress response – in one study researchers found that children who had a negative experience while their best friend was present not only felt better about themselves afterwards but also had lower levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, than those who did not have a friend present [1]. If you’re having a hard time try catching up with a friend to bring those stress hormones down.
Friends make us healthier – when our friends are healthy we tend to be healthier too. A research study in Australia found that the healthier people’s friends were in terms of their diet and exercise levels, the healthier they were as well [2]. The next time you’re thinking of ditching a catch-up for the gym why not go together? You’ll have the benefit of friendship, exercise and potentially spreading these health benefits to your friendship group all in one go.
Friends make us sharper – stuck with a difficult problem? Phone a friend. Research shows that a 10 minute chat on a social topic can boost executive function, the type of mental agility that helps us to solve problems [3].
Friends make us laugh – laughter is good for us. It improves mood, reduces stress and may even boost our immune system [4]. Get together with a friend who makes you laugh and your body will thank you.
Friends can make you live longer – researchers gathered all of the research on friendship and mortality in 2010 and found that people with strong social ties lived longer than those without. This was true even after they accounted for health differences in the participants [5].

Don’t neglect the friendships that make you feel good. Sometimes it’s important to put life on hold for a short while to nurture the relationships that keep you happy, healthy and sane in this busy world.

1. Adams, R.E., J.B. Santo, and W.M. Bukowski, The presence of a best friend buffers the effects of negative experiences. Developmental Psychology, 2011. 47(6): p. 1786.

2. Ball, K., et al., Is healthy behavior contagious: associations of social norms with physical activity and healthy eating. International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity, 2010. 7(1): p. 1.

3. Ybarra, O., et al., Friends (and sometimes enemies) with cognitive benefits: What types of social interactions boost executive functioning? Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2010: p. 1948550610386808.

4. Bennett, M.P., et al., The effect of mirthful laughter on stress and natural killer cell activity. Alternative therapies in health and medicine, 2003. 9(2): p. 38.

5. Holt-Lunstad, J., T.B. Smith, and J.B. Layton, Social relationships and mortality risk: a meta-analytic review. PLoS Med, 2010. 7(7): p. e1000316.

Why you should get outside to de-stress

by The Pipon 15 July 2016in PipLife

Last week we wrote about the benefits of sunshine for your health and happiness. Unfortunately for most of us year-round sunshine is but a distant dream. We’re here to tell you that that doesn’t matter, merely being outside can help your body and your mind:
1) How nature helps your body – If you tell a friend in Japan that you are stressed they may tell you to try ‘forest bathing’. Forest bathing involves immersing oneself in the forest in order to relax. This might sound strange to those not accustomed to it but actually research shows that it can work. Forest bathing trips not only reduce stress but also boost the immune system. The same effect isn’t seen after a city-break suggesting that nature has a special restorative power [1]. I know what you’re thinking, not many of us have the time or an available forest to escape to. The good news is that a forest is not strictly necessary. Other research has shown that just 11 extra trees on one city block can reduces residents’ risk for heart disease [2]. Chronic stress affects our immune and cardiovascular systems so when you’re stressed out try planning a walk in the country or just take a moment to admire nature in your everyday environment.

2) How nature helps your mind –We’re often told that one remedy for work stress is to go for a walk. But did you know that you can boost the effects of this by taking your walk in a green space? Researchers in Stanford University sent one group of volunteers to walk down a busy main street for 50 minutes and another group to walk in a local park for the same time. Those who walked in the park not only had lower stress and improved mood when they came back but their mental agility was better than when they had set out. Although the walk through the city improved mood, it didn’t have the same range of benefits as walking in the park [3]. So the next time you’re facing a stressful day at work grab your lunch and head out to the local park or green space. You might find that not only does your mood improve but that your brain is better set to face the challenge ahead.

1. Li, Q., et al., Visiting a forest, but not a city, increases human natural killer activity and expression of anti-cancer proteins. International journal of immunopathology and pharmacology, 2008. 21(1):p. 117-127.
2. Kardan, O., et al., Neighborhood greenspace and health in a large urban center. Scientific reports, 2015. 5.
3. Bratman, G.N., et al., The benefits of nature experience: Improved affect and cognition. Landscape and Urban Planning, 2015. 138: p. 41-50.

5 Ways to De-stress in 5 Minutes

by The Pipon 14 July 2016in PipLife, PipUse, Stress Explained

Feeling stressed? Here are five ways to de-stress in five minutes.

1.Breathe deeply – often when we’re stressed we hold our breath. Even worse, you may not notice yourself doing this. Our minds and our bodies are integrally linked and when you hold your breath or take shallow breaths for long periods of time your body starts to panic which causes your mind to panic. Release stress with this quick breathing exercise that you can do at your desk:

Sit in a comfortable position, breath in as deeply as you can counting slowly as you do 1-2-3. Breath all of the air out slowly counting 1-2-3. Sometimes it can help to do this audibly (if you’re not in a crowded office!) so you can really feel the air leaving your body. It can also help to put your hand on your stomach and feel it rise and fall with the air. Repeat this at least 5 times.

2.Muscle relaxation – another symptoms of stress is tense muscles. If you are in the middle of a stressful task take a moment to notice your body. Do you feel how your shoulder muscles are clenched tight? Are your legs pushing tight against your seat chair and the floor? Try this quick exercise to relax your body and release stress tension:

Start with your toes. Bring all of your attention into your toes and clench them as tight as you can for 5 seconds. Count 1-2-3-4-5. Then release. Move on up to your calves, tighten the muscles and count to 5. Then release. Move all the way up your body in sequences like this working one muscle at a time until you get to your forehead. Often our facial muscles are tight when we are stressed. Clench your forehead into a frown for 5 seconds. And then release. Your body should feel relaxed and better able to face the task at hand.

3.Take a walk – another common sin when we are stressed, particularly at work, is to stay sitting for long periods of time without break. This is bad not only for our muscles which become tight but also our eyes which likely haven’t had a break and our minds. Taking five minutes to walk away from the situation is a great way to physically and mentally remove yourself from a stressful situation. Plus exercise increases endorphins so your mood will be improved when you return as well [1].

4.Laugh – laughing and interaction with others is one of the most important facets of human communication. Loneliness and isolation are key predictors of not only mental but also physical ill health [2]. When you are stressed it can be easy to isolate yourself thinking that only you can solve the problem. While it may be true that someone else can’t help with the actual problem they can help to lift your mood and make you feel that you’re not alone. Seek out a colleague, a family member or a friend who you enjoy spending time with and take a five minute break to talk to them. If you’re on your own look up a funny clip online that you know will make you laugh. This will release the tension and remind you that most problems are not the end of the world.

5.Take out your Pip – your Pip is a useful tool to help you relax and destress for five minutes. Sometimes it can be hard not only to know how to relax but to know if you really are relaxing when you are used to being stressed. Let the Pip apps guide you and teach you how to manage your stress and feel a sense of calm in five minutes.

Whether you’re staring at a problem on a computer screen, facing a tense interaction with colleagues or just feeling overwhelmed take a five minute break and try one of these five destressing tips.

Sakuragi, S., & Sugiyama, Y. (2006). Effects of daily walking on subjective symptoms, mood and autonomic nervous function. Journal of physiological anthropology, 25(4), 281-289.
Steptoe, A., Owen, N., Kunz-Ebrecht, S. R., & Brydon, L. (2004). Loneliness and neuroendocrine, cardiovascular, and inflammatory stress responses in middle-aged men and women. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 29(5), 593-611.

The Positive Effects of Being Happy

by The Pipon 13 July 2016in PipLife, Stress Explained

We all want to be happy but sometimes it can be hard to The Action for Happiness group have put together a list of key steps to incorporate some more happiness into your short and long-term futures. But first, what are the benefits of being happy?

It may seem like an obvious question but actually some of the effects of happiness are surprising:

1) Happiness Reduces Stress – Of course, you may say that it’s just that those people who have less stressful lives are happier. Chronic stress does affect our outlook but it works the other way around as well. Researchers in 2009 measured how happy 65 university students were. They then stressed them all out by giving them a horrible task that was going to be assessed by their lecturers.

While all students had high blood pressure and pumping hearts as a result of stress, those who had a more positive outlook recovered much more quickly than those who were not [1]. So even if stress is inevitable in some situations paying attention to happiness in other areas of your life may help you to ride out the storm.

2) Happiness Affects Our Health – Happier people have lower heart rates, lower blood pressure and a healthier immune system [2]. To show how much our psychological health can affect our physical health let’s talk about a study done by researchers in Carnegie Mellon University in 2003 [3]. These researchers inserted nasal drops infected with the common cold virus into the noses of 350 volunteers (with their permission!).

Beforehand they had asked them to rate how often they experienced positive emotions such as happiness and relaxation. When they returned to these volunteers they found that those who had reported more positive emotions at the start were much less likely to have developed the common cold than those who were less happy. The immune systems of these happy participants had risen up to meet the challenge meaning the virus had a much harder time taking hold.

3) Happy People Live Longer – One team of researchers followed up a group of 180 nuns from their 20s to their deaths in their late 70s, 80s and 90s. They found that those who had been happier in their twenties, as assessed by essays they themselves had written, lived on average 7-10 years longer than their less happy peers [4]. This has since been verified by another larger study of nearly 4000 older adults [5].

So celebrating the International Day of Happiness is not important just for the feel-good factor. Of course we all have periods of happiness and unhappiness in our lives that we do not necessarily have control over but taking steps to improve your own happiness when you do have some control may help you to build up resilience to see you through less happy times. Take a look at the Action for Happiness 10 key steps here:

http://www.actionforhappiness.org/media/530511/ten_keys_guidebook.pdf

References

1. Papousek, I., et al., Trait and state positive affect and cardiovascular recovery from experimental academic stress. Biological Psychology, 2010. 83(2): p. 108-115.

2. Steptoe, A. and J. Wardle, Positive affect and biological function in everyday life. Neurobiology of Aging, 2005. 26(1): p. 108-112.

3. Cohen, S., et al., Emotional style and susceptibility to the common cold. Psychosomatic medicine, 2003. 65(4): p. 652-657.

Relax with 10 ways to chill at home in 5 minutes

by The Pipon 12 July 2016in PipLife, Relaxation Techniques

Feeling stressed out and need to relax? While an hour-long massage, forest walk or yoga session sound just the ticket sometimes life doesn’t give us time as a luxury and all you may have are five short minutes to breathe deeply and relax before you have to leave for work/the kids come home/your guests arrive/the next task begins. Here we give you 10 ways to relax in less than 5 minutes at home.

Category : PipLife

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